Hoping Pouch

Salutations Homogenites!

I'm sure you've noticed that since I began writing my "logontheweb" TM about living in the land of the stimulus billed obama, it has gone through several transitions. The log, not the Obama - he is a constant and unflagging bastion of hope against which the waves of ignorance and despair crash ineffectually. I have a picture of him on my underwear. On the inside.

So anyway, the log has changed; from the early short-but-powerfully-demented pieces, to the pedantically descriptive metaphor laden trash of today, we've travelled together through the minefields of preachy shit, art criticism and awkward sexual fantasy. All that and of course the momentous happenings of mothergate, when the whole thing nearly got stopped altogether.

One has tried to maintain quality throughout, however, with only one's own opinion to go on, this is at best impossible and at worst an invitation to outrageous pomposity such as referring to oneself in the third person. Not being one to solicit praise, far less someone who knows what to do with it (unless it's a certificate in which case I give it to mother so that she can frame it and nail it to the wall of her downstairs toilet) I ain't gonna ask you to write comments telling me just how awesome I am. I know that anyway. My vast arrogance dates back to the time my GCSE chemistry teacher told me that I "should really think more of myself". I have thought of little else since. Meat. That's something else I have thought of.

For all I know, you continue to read this stuff only from a combined sense of pity and guilt or possibly as some kind of psychoanalytic research project, rather than because you find it enjoyable. As an example, I thought the review of "my little pony" was a fat steaming turd, but when I was back in the Carpeted Teapot Kingdom over the summer some of you told me you liked it. So just remember to tell me every so often, in passing, if you thought something was of entertainment value or if you like turd. Admittedly, some of you have shown your appreciation before, and to you I convey the thanks of a grateful nation with this image of everyone's favourite Oxford based Waterboys tribute band, when they appear on "Later with Jools Holland" next month.



Yours,

Needy.