Finger-licking good? Cheerleaders

A large amount of Saturday was spent in my office in just my underwear. This is not how I normally use my time on weekends, it being instead an unfortunate result of getting soaking wet while watching cheerleaders. Somewhere behind them was a football game, which I had stopped watching when I realised I couldn't even see the ball. And when it became apparent that the home side couldn't either.

The local cheerleaders were immensely disappointing, pathetically capitulating to the pouring rain by wearing full tracksuits. They shouted a lot and jumped around.
Admirably, the visiting cheerleaders stuck to their guns by wearing transparent ponchos over their tiny skirts. They shouted a lot and jumped around. The visiting cheerleaders proved to be a hit with local law enforcement, who focused their attentions on protecting this valuable target rather than the game itself. Sensible really, as 300 pound men in body armour can probably look after themselves.

Almost a quarter of the crowd in the stadium was made up of the bands from the two universities. During the frequent breaks in play, one of the bands would play something suitably rousing, signalling the corresponding cheerleaders to shout and jump around, doing some rousing of their own. Then the huge screen would show some important messages about how we should spend our money.

Probably the only thing funnier than a cheerleader is a male cheerleader. They also shout, but jump around less, instead crossing their arms and shaking their shoulders before throwing in some chin thrusts and a synchronised jumping fist bump to finish. Not only are they absurd, but they have to hang around with shallow, mentally deficient and beautiful women all day. It is difficult to see what their motivation could be.

The other bit of the title refers to a conversation earlier in the week during a meeting of the fellowship of the drink. Our token female member asked, "is it normal to be creeped out when someone licks your fingers?" As always, serious and considered discussion followed. Our conclusion was that it is highly context dependent, for example if there is something tasty on your fingers, or if 'someone' happens to be a dog.