A pivotal moment has been reached in the history of consumer choice. The approach had reduced the Free to feverish incoherence. It will stay with me until I am grey and old (Saturday). Relive those moments now as you will for months in pointless conversations at pubs and dinner tables where you put the world to rights by doing nothing: media pundits quickly exhaust their cliche reserves in an orgy of projection and analysis. The upstart takes Ohio, then France, the Papal state and the shitty bit of town near the chip shop. Synthesised drums merge into a deafening roar and computer animated stars speed across screens ever faster until, finally, someone makes up the right number. The world stops, astonished, before watching important messages from their sponsors.
Now comparisons between the Emperor and a monkey are no longer comic, but racist. Truly this is change we need.
Frankly if everyone wasn't such a dick it would have happened ages ago.
Today I was oriented for my benefit by the insidious Human Resources. They explained to me all the ways I could not save money by having a spouse or spawn or a car or a serious illness. The indoctrination was held at the gym so during coffee breaks I got to look into the sad dead eyes of the condemned on their treadmills.
I hope to get the keys to the bat cave tomorrow. Then I'll fill it with shredded newspaper and bits of moss and settle down for the winter.
during coffee breaks I got to look into the sad dead eyes of the condemned on their treadmills
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